RIP In Peace
by GoodShinyHunter
Summary: Medic loses someone very special to him. Warning sad gurentee cri errytim humor and tragedy genres because Medic's roller coaster of emotes.
1. Where's Archimedes?

What are you doing here this is such shit get out while you still can.

* * *

One day, Medic was tinkering with his medical shits, just like always, because his lyfe is dull.

"MIEN GOTTNESS", he suddenly shouted! "WHERE IS BIRD" Archimedes was nowhere to be found! Where could he have gone, the good doc asked himself.

With the speed of a million slugs, Medic rushed out of his medical lab, beginning his search for his precious birb.

"HEAVY" The RED shouted milliseconds before he bounced off the hefty man, landing on the ground with a pttgh (wtf). "MIEN GLASSES SUCH I COULDN'T C U"

Heavy looked to him with concern before effortlessly hoisting the only slightly shorter, though most certainly smaller man."Wow then Doktor needs new glasses da?"

The doctor regained his composure (or should I say gained some composure because did he even have any in the first place) before speaking"Je. But zhat dun't matterrightnow WHERE IS MY BIRD?"

The practical giant recoiled a small bit at the sudden outburst. "Tiny red and white bird?"

"JA"

"Heavy has not seen eet. Have you asked Engie?"

"NO BUT ZHAT'S A GUTT IDEA THSANK YOU HEAVY"

Medic ran off, leaving Heavy behind.


	2. Oh Yeah, Oh Shit

Engineer was sitting in his lab, tinkering with some scrap metal he crafted using a couple of old weapons when he was interrupted with a start.

"ENGIE"

The Texan jumped, launching his wrench in the process. It landed to the floor with a clink. "Goodness Medic, what's your emergency?"

"ARCHIMEDES MIEN LIEBE IZ GONE" The panicking doctor shouted (all too loudly for Engie's comfort) as he grabbed the shorter man by his collar and shook him violently.

Engie grabbed Medics shoulders stiffly in an attempt to calm him down. "Alright, al _right_!" The shorter one said sternly, like a parent scolding their child, and Medic immediately stood still. Engie's angry voice had that effect on people. "I'll help you find em, jus' don't jostle me like that, please."

"Jawol. Danke."

"Now, when was the last time you've seen 'im?"

Medic thought, backtracking. "Hmm...last night he was..." The German trailed off for a moment before gasping and letting out a short scream. "ARCHIMEDES!" He shouted before taking off. Engie shook his head. Him and that birb.


	3. Asshole :(

"HANG ON SCHATZCHEN DATTY'S COMING"

Medic ran down the hallway faster than he ever had run in his entire life, passing Heavy whom hadn't really moved much since the doctor had last spoken with him. He turned on his heel when he reached the medical lab door and burst through, making a beeline to the sterile (?) medical refrigerator.

He gasped after ripping the door open, revealing a limp, dead Archimedes. :(

"ARCHIMEDEEEES! NOOOOOOO!" The poor doctor wailed as he cradled the ded birb in his arms. "IT'S FILSY UP ZHEEEEERE"

Engineer entered the lab, Heavy following shortly after. "What happened doc?" The shortest one asked.

"Last night, he was nesting in the refrigerator because it was so hot, and I was exhausted, so I forgot that he was, and I must have closed it and passed out..." He answered, his words dripping with dread. Heavy approached the smaller man and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry about your leetle bird..." Engie took off his hard hat and approached him as well. Looking the corpse over, he noticed something.

"Wait jus'a second... He's wearing a mask...?" Engie proceeded to take off the bird's little paper mask. As he did, the bird materialized into a-

"AaaAHHh!" Medic screamed and through the head away from his being, startled. The BLU Spy's body crumpled to the ground.

"Honhonhonhon, snort, hon!" The obvious, characteristic laughter of the RED Spy was heard, as well as the familiar decloaking sound. "You should have seen the look on your face! 'OH NIEN! MIEN LIEBE OH GOTT HE'S TETT!'"

Medic's face was red with a mixture of anger and embarassment. "Fucke you. What did you do with mien bird."

"Oh, he's right here." The dickish Frenchman pulled Medic's precious from the inside of his suit.

Archimedes flew to his owner's shoulder, his wings making a high pitched whistling noise with each wingstroke. Medic petted him. "Ah, thank Gott."

"Hon hon"

The ende.

* * *

"What is plot?"

~Shiny, 2015


End file.
